Reflection of 2021?

 2021 doesn't feel like a new year, it really feels like 2019 and 2020 blended together. I am grieving and angry that omicron has activated the same sense of dread and hopelessness I felt at the start of the first lockdown (note, not the first pandemic, that's what's still happening). All that has changed is where I am in proximity to the pandemic.

In 2020, I was providing telemental health from a distance. I was isolated, but felt less anxious knowing I could trust I was not at risk of testing positive for Covid because I hardly went out. Yes I was and still am touch-starved, but I felt I could approach things with my own level of control, going out once, testing, waiting for results, and going out again. In 2021, I work in the hospital now, and the number of floors turned to Covid units have increased. Staff are burnt out and patients requiring additional care, whether that be substance use counseling or inpatient psychiatric care, are forced to wait due to Covid. it's bad, and what makes me so mad is that it did not have to get to this point. The recommendations have remained the same and were clear to policymakers early on and yet, here we are, the chance to control and minimize casualties is long gone.

Throughout this time, I remained writing, some days taking breaks as i was hit with hopelessness for the future. For the first time in a while, my sex drive was lower than usual and I felt less inclined to explore my love of erotic humiliation. Still, I continued to provide therapy to patients and my desire to connect my embarrassment fetish to a wider audience remained. Then, I had a small idea about a therapist helping a college student understand why she's having naked nightmares. This idea blossomed from what was going to be a short story broken up in 5 sections into my first novella.  

This was the fastest I have ever written a book. I was grateful to have something singular to focus on during November and December. What I have always liked about erotic humiliation is that it is an emotion-focused kink. The appeal is not about seeing someone naked, but their embarrassed or horrified expression in reaction to being exposed. It is their emotional response that excites me and that is why I love how kink focuses on those emotions as well. In my novella, I examined how multiple emotions can come up. One character, Cristina is quite distressed with the nightmares keeping her up at night and the protagonist, Dr. Halaweh, must help her understand intrapsychically why the distressing images are also a source of sexual excitement. I think what made this book easier to write was that I got to nerd out on the therapeutic process and the embarrassment kink. I am proud to release Indecent Exposure Therapy as we welcome 2022. I hope you'll give it a read and enjoy the psychology of being naughty >:). For a limited time, you can enjoy this small tease as a sample.

 

 

Cartoons were the genesis of my kink

 Although I've been through many transitions that have kept me busy, I still often think of ways to keep my blog fresh. Sometimes, a barrier i think that gets in the way is the assumption that what i write has to have some profound analysis, and if I don't feel i have something to discuss that meets that criteria, i do not write. This overlooks the other reason i wanted to start blogging, and that was for fun. One thing i absolutely enjoy is curating embarrassed naked scenarios from media.

Today I wanted to focus on the shows that planted the seeds for my embarrassment fetish. Of course, it did not start with the erotic humiliation I've grown to write about. It happened with the earliest depiction I would have had access to as a kid, cartoons.

The embarrassed naked genre's roots stem from comedy. I have previously  discussed how comedy gags involving exposure have included skirts blown up, fur/feathers being shaved, and pants falling down to expose underwear with a pattern printed over it. Many cartoons have utilized some form of these tropes for the purpose of amusement. 

One early example is the Looney Tunes episode, "Wise Quacking Duck". It was not the first episode i saw depicting forced exposure, but I think it's one of the best examples from Looney Tunes. I think much of the comedy in Looney Tunes walked a fine line between child appropriate humor as well as inserting jokes that were more tongue-in-cheek. I think pinup/cheesecake style erotic art was popular during that era and it seemed like animators were willing to take the risk to put it in the episodes. Many times, it was the villain of the episode who would be stripped. Elmer Fudd was often pantsed by Bugs Bunny, he was even once exposed wearing a girdle. 

But the episode I often call back to was the aforementioned episode where Daffy Duck is chased by a hunter. The first moment he is stripped, he willingly does so, slowly doing a striptease by undressing out of his feathers as if it were a suit. He even uses lettuce as feathers to tease his audience. It is when he raises his arms, his suit falls down and exposes polka dotted boxers. We see him cover up in embarrassment before running away. 

 

 

 Later on, he is cornered into a wall, gun against his chest. He begs "Not twice in the same picture!" and his feathers are blown off, leaving him with his arms crossed over his body to cover up.

 

 

I do recall feeling a physical excitement anytime I saw this kind of trope. It happened again watching a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles episode where Leonardo cuts Rock Steady's pants off, exposing his heart-print boxers. I found this frustrating, because i didn't want to be distracted with the stimulation I felt. Most of the fight scenes in cartoons had a serious tone, so when the humor of a character being humiliated was depicted, my body reacted.

 

 

 

One scene that actually made me hard was when I never expected an embarrassed exposure scene, such as in the cartoon the Adventures of T-Rex. This was a superhero themed tv show where a group of armored dinosaurs fought crime. In the episode, Screwloose, they fight a robber whose named after the episode. In the end, Screwloose manages to loosen the screws to the armor of the team, pantsing all of them. I remember being struck by this scene because at that point, I believed superheroes were never supposed to look bad. Here they were in the street exposed in their boxers, the idealized heroes humbled as they were made to look ridiculous. But that is the point of the humiliation kink.  

I highlight these examples today to highlight how our minds come to resonate with our kinks. As a psychologist I enjoy processing how different factors can affect us developmentally as we come to understand ourselves and what we desire. When I was young, I did not know I had a kink for this. I was not sexually active, but the imprint of humiliation with excitement was there.

 

 

This does not mean that all kinks start from cartoons. What I like is that even as a cis-heterosexual male, I can find the erotic excitement in seeing male-identified characters being humiliated. Without these scenes, I'm not sure i would have had the same connection to the embarrassment kink as I do. In reviewing these cartoons, The Adventures of T Rex has me realizing where my inspiration for Riot may have come from 

If you have an interest in the embarrassed naked genre, where do you recall your first moment that may have had it click for you? What about for your other kinks? 

I think the next entry will focus on how I first got into the ENF genre.

Celebrate National Erotic Humiliation Day by watching porn!

 Although it's been a while since I posted, I have not been idle. Since my last post, I've created several new drawings, wrote a new story for Medium, and wrote two embarrassed naked scripts for Jordana Leigh.

The first clip is The Negotiator in which a psychologist and negotiator both have to talk a criminal out of harming hostages. As you can see, the only thing harmed in this situation is pride. I really liked both actor's approach to the comedy of this clip. The psychologist in particular does some great improv that captures her embarrassment while trying to present herself as professional. Although I am not a comedian anymore, I've always believed that good comedy skills make for great acting skills.

The next clip is Hypocrisy , a story about a woman whose conservative, religious boss shames her when she catches her viewing porn, only to expose her boss when she learns that she too has her own sexual desires. Jordana and Maria Jade have both acted in embarrassed naked clips for years and it shows. Jordana does a good job portraying a stern woman, only to wilt as she slowly becomes exposed. I think Maria has strong comedic chops in addition to the way she can still make a scene erotic with her moans and facial expressions. 

So if you're looking for a way to celebrate National Erotic Humiliation Day, there's no better way than to support content creators and buy their porn and indulge yourself!

Other embarrassed naked creators to buy from are:

Cali Logan

Hannah Perez 

Ludella Hahn

All the Filthy Details Podcast and the power of a voice

 Let's not ignore the fact that this pandemic (which is still happening despite what some may believe) has been a significant traumatic event for many of us. One aspect as been the interpersonal impact it has had, forcing many in isolation out of concern for their safety and the safety of others. I remember grieving the fact that dating and emotional intimacy would be out of the question for quite some time. Yet, I continued to use online dating apps and was able to get creative. One way in which intimacy was built up was erotica. As soon as a connection had formed, we started to send flirty messages and naughty pics. I started to share my erotica and one day decided to record myself reading it. It was fun to do and it also helped us connect emotionally when we could not do so in person. What started as a fun way to make things sexy over the internet became a fun way to remain connected, selecting a story I thought this person would enjoy and conveying the emotions of the characters when I read.

Skip ahead to a few weeks ago when I was given the chance to be a featured author on the All The Filthy Details podcast. 

 

 

This podcast focuses on erotica authors and reviewing their work. They caution the listener to wear headphones because the stories they read are not safe for work. Wow they are not kidding! The first episode I listened to had my mind wandering in all sorts of fun ways. The sound production is amazing. The voice actors reading the stories do a fantastic job and the sound effects in the background create the perfect mood for each story. Whenever I want to get in the mood, I often read erotica myself but All The Filthy Details makes it easier by letting you lay back and just listen to steamy voices describing some naughty acts in detail.

What I also like about this podcast are the book reviews. They review three titles and discuss what they liked about each. The featured author is also given a chance to review the titles. I had a blast answering the questions on the podcast because the producers asked me about the embarrassed naked genre and how psychology can be useful in writing erotica. I also got to record myself reading a sample from Pelt, the first story in The Immodest Collection vol 3. 

So as we move towards the fall with some worry that a second lockdown might happen, I will first say take care of yourself and remember, nobody asked for this to happen. We are in uncharted territories, the science is never going to be definite. Things are always changing and that is unfair, frustrating, and scary. Second, if you're looking to find ways to develop intimate connections with someone new or someone you've been with for a while, have fun with reading them some erotica. If you are still not sold on the idea, then give All the Filthy Details a listen, I'm sure they'll change your mind.

Turn Up The Heat - Reflections

 It started with a joining a discord channel meant to hold writers accountable to reach goals. I saw someone post that there was a plan to boost the attention and sales for erotica authors by doing a reader challenge. This would eventually be the Turn Up The Heat challenge.

The setup was this: Download a challenge board, read as many erotica titles as you can and review them. Each book reviewed counted for one vote. The prize, $40 of erotica and $200 worth of Sohimi sex toys. Over $200 worth of prizes just to read erotica less than $1.99 is a pretty damn good deal. I had just the title I wanted to bring attention to.

Since I wrote Privilege, it hardly received any sales. I even gave it away for free for a period of time and after approximately 30 downloads, no reviews. Given the subject matter was about White privilege and racism, I anticipated I would eventually get some reviews, particularly negative ones. When giving it away for free does not work, I was willing to try something else. Thankfully, the TurnUptheHeat organizers accepted Privilege to the challenge board. I knew that if I was going to do this, I would need to commit and put in my own work by promoting the hell out of this. So for the month of May, I avoided promoting the Immodest Collection and focused my attention on boosting the challenge.

During this time, all of the other authors pitched in by creating promos and boosting each other's tweets. This was something new and I'm not sure what organizers expected but by the end of the month, we all shared how much our online presence had increased. This was my big takeaway in how one change can result in amazing outcomes. I can't speak for the other authors, but I will say I was more than happy with the results. Within a few weeks, sales started coming in. One awesome author was nice enough to buy 10 copies as a give away. Most affirming though, were the reviews:

"The kink is hot and steamy but what sets this one apart is the underlying message addressed within and how well that is handled. The author interweaves it well without leaving us feel preached to, giving the message meaning and voice of it's own. Very well done and well worth picking up." - Alexa Sommers

"Privilege is not quite the story I expected from the cover blurb - it's more, it's deeper, and it's heavier, and it's so much better. J.C. Parker manages to weave themes of race and privilege into the story without ever feeling forced or out-of-place. It's heavy at times, almost even heavy-handed, but that's the whole point - it's a story about confronting privilege and understanding that that means. Along the way, of course, it's also a kinky story of lesbian love, female domination, bondage, punishment, and orgasm denial. To Parker's credit, she never pulls back, never shies away from Kayla's anger, even when we might expect a softening into an apologetic sort of happy ending. It's a story that arouses mind and body, and that's not an easy thing to do!" - Sally Bend 

Sales are awesome, ratings are also great, and for me, the time reviewers took to share their reactions to Privilege were what really touched me, that folks connected with the heart of the message in addition to enjoying the sexy aspect of it. Also awesome was that these were reviews from other writers and it was an honor to have it reviewed by them. I'm certain had I not contributed to this challenge it would not have been seen by many, and that was the point of why the organizers wanted to try this out.

Not only did this challenge bring new attention to my work, but it also connected me with the nice folks at Sohimi, who had asked me to review some of their toys. Here is my favorite one I recently tried. Never would have expected to list sex toy reviewer on my kinky resume but that's the fun of giving new things a try. The positive outcome in participating in the Turn Up the Heat challenge was more than I could imagine. It boosted my sales, reviews, and more importantly connected me to the wider community of erotica authors. It was cool to see everyone pitch in and help others promote, offering videos and promo images for others to share. I can't wait to see what the organizers have in store next, but I applaud them for seeing a need to bring attention to indie writers and for pulling off an amazing event. Bonus points for doing it during Masturbation Month >:). Even if you missed out this time, that doesn't mean you can't check the challenge board and read the awesome titles on it!

Sohimi LG362 Blowjob Masturbator

 One of the positive aspects of participating in the Turn Up the Heat Challenge, was being connected with the company that sponsored it. This week I tested Sohimi's Blowjob Masturbator. I was looking forward to this toy because I love oral sex, both giving and receiving. For me, oral sex is preferable to intercourse, I love the visual of a partner's mouth on my cock, the sensation, and the dynamic of someone on their knees pleasuring me.

 

 

The Blowjob Masturbator is meant to simulate oral sex by combining the vibration simulation of Sohimi's male masturbators with the additional suction feature. I envisioned the Blowjob Masturbator to fit like their other masturbators, containing a long silicone sleeve to fit over the full length of the shaft. This was not the case, at best it fit around the top but would not fit any further. I thought it was due to the toy being too small and later realized that it is not meant to fit all the way over my shaft. Like oral sex, the pleasure comes (pun intended) from the suction. The top button activates the vibration, along with various rhythms and the bottom button provides suction. With both features operating, you get the enjoyment of a vibrating masturbator and it remains firm over the penis as it wraps tight around the head. What I also liked was being able to thrust at my own pace. It also comes with several audio bytes of a woman moaning. Similar to the previous toy toy, the noises are not particularly groundbreaking but add another layer of eroticism that makes the pleasure of the Blowjob Masturbator more enjoyable. Once I found the right rhythm and suction, I had the most intense orgasm I've had since trying out Sohimi's toys. As always there was trial and error with figuring out what works, but I've always been pleasantly surprised with the result once I found the right setting for me.

 As I have tested Sohimi's toys, one thing I've realized is the importance of the lube that is most effective. Sohimi's provides lube with all of their products, and it does feel good. The viscosity tends to be on the thicker end, which means it feels good but I've noticed it tends to dry really quick. So, be sure to coat a lot of it in the toy and around the penis. Another alternative is Uberlube which is more liquid based. I've found this most helpful for me because it tends to last longer for me. Regardless of what lube you use, I'd highly recommend the Blowjob Masturbator, offering a particular sensation that other masturbators might not provide.

The Immodest Collection: Stories of Exosure and Shame vol 3 is here!

 

Today is the day I'm excited to share with you the cover for the Immodest Collection: Stories of Exposure and Shame Volume 3!. It's been a long journey writing this while also defending my dissertation, but I'm delighted with these three brand SPANKing new enf stories. It will be released on 6/20 for the Summer Solstice. It's a season where many wear little clothing to keep cool but for the women in my stories, they end up losing more clothes than they intended. The stories in this volume took a particular focus on the kinky side, emphasizing play dynamics in addition to my favorite themes of embarrassment from being stripped naked. What do I mean by kinky side? Let's just say there more than one meaning when I say the stories are SPANKing new. To give you another tease, enjoy the summaries for each story below:

Shannon has a wild side, one she embodies when she wears her leopard print onesie. Her partner, Dani, takes her on a camping trip, letting her run free in the great outdoors. The catch: Dani gets to hunt Shannon, putting her dignity on the line when Dani threatens to remove her spots if she is caught.

University professor, Dr. Martin keeps her kinky lifestyle private. As a Domme, she rigorously protects the privacy of her subs. When a fame-hungry vlogger blackmails her, Dr. Martin must relinquish control. Submission sits poorly on her shoulders, so when she gains the upper hand, she wastes no time showing the vlogger the true meaning of humiliation.

Bri took up pole dancing on a whim, but stayed for the hot instructor, KC. A year later, she spends her free time fantasizing about what KC’s strong arms could do to her. But at Bri’s summer party, it’s her pet, Lana, who breaks the ice by revealing a kinky secret that leaves Bri feeling mortified in front of her guests and worst of all, her crush. 

 

Stick around for more teasers! Cover art by Dawné Dominique at DusktilDawn Designs. 

Sohimi Sex Toy Review

 I guess Sohimi really liked my previous review because they wanted me to review a second toy of theirs. Today I'm reviewing the Vibrating Penis Pump. I was hesitant to give this a try because I tend to shy away from things that involve increasing thickness of my penis. I've used cock rings in the past and although they are fun, there have been some minor pain that makes it less enjoyable.

 

 

 

 I was glad to have been proven wrong. The suction from the penis pump didn't seem noticeable at first, but after a few minutes i did feel it fit nice and tight around my cock. I mistakenly forgot to but the ring around the base of the silicone sleeve and thought it did not make a difference. THAT WAS INCORRECT. The ring makes a huge difference. That is where the suction of the pump really takes effect, I could feel it pulling tighter over me. So my first recommendation is test it with your finger just to gauge how powerful the suction is. You can turn it off immediately if it's too much. There's also a second button that stops the suction temporarily so you can adjust to the sensation.

In addition to the suction, the vibration was what i enjoyed the most. It has several different vibration rhythms as well as several different intensities, much like the previous toy. What was nice about the penis pump was it was not as heavy as the other, which meant it allowed me to hold and thrust at my own comfort and pace. This made it more enjoyable for me once I got the right rhythm, I could take my time enjoying each different mode without it slipping off. I'm learning that I like a constant vibration rather than the short bursts. I definitely felt i could last longer using this. For me, this felt closer to mimicking intercourse but I'm also someone who finds pleasure being able to have more control of my own movements. That being said, the automatic vibrator is fun for just a different experience, the intensity in particular. So, I like how both felt but I think in terms of ease of use I'll stick with the penis pump. I also can see myself using the pump as a vibrator without the suction or even without the vibration, so there are many ways you can enjoy this and it's reasonably priced at $53.99. I'm so glad Sohimi helped push me out of my comfort zone. Like the other toy, it comes with a USB cord to recharge and a small tube of lube. It also comes with a nice bag to carry all of it in that makes it easier to transport on say an airplane (have fun watching the reaction of security if you take it as a carry on). 

 So with one week of the National Masturbation Month of May, treat yourself or a partner to one of Sohimi's many vibrating toys and enjoy!

 

Turn Up The Heat! and a Sohimi Sex Toy Review

 Oof, talk about embarrassment, I'm feeling that way after over a year hiatus in posting. Much of it was due to managing a work/life balance in my final year of my doctoral program, other aspects were emotionally feeling drained from the ongoing accounts of police brutality and also my own management of emotions processing my own internalized racism as a transracial adoptee. Perhaps that will be a post for another time to give it the proper focus and attention. For now I wanted to post a first time for me: My first sex toy review!

How did this happen? It all started when I submitted Privilege to a reader challenge for the month of May (which also happens to the National Masturbation Month;) called the Turn Up The Heat reader challenge. The goal was to showcase indie erotica authors by having participants read a list of erotica, review it, and post it on their challenge board. The prize was MORE erotica AND free toys from Sohimi the company sponsoring the challenge.

 

As I promoted the challenge, Sohimi reached out and asked me to review one of their products. I've been curious about a fleslight type of toy for years and so this felt like the perfect time to try the The Automatic Male Masturbator Cup .

 

 

 

Wow, for a first toy, this came with a LOT of fun features. This version comes with a set of audio noises of moaning. It also comes with a wall mount to prop up so you can use it hands free. I was taken aback by the size of it (it was the length of a large thermos). The inside is a clear vagina-shaped opening that is soft with several bumps inside. It also comes with headphones, a USB charger, and lube. 

It took a bit of trial-and-error but once I got the hang of it it was definitely something I look forward to trying to again. I underestimated the amount of lube needed to penetrate. What first happened was getting my penis partially through and I found that to be a bit frustrating. But, reading some erotica (always a nice way to get in the mood) and a lot of lube used to coat the inside and on myself was what worked out. 

First, the thrusts are INTENSE! I did not need to do a thing, I just lay on my back and held the toy while the thrusting did the work. It has 5 different thrusting modes and with each mode are 6 different frequencies (3 to lessen and 3 to increase the intensity). It takes a moment to adjust, but the intensity of the thrusting starts to feel good the more you just relax and let your fantasies run wild in your mind. I preferred the mode with a constant thrusting motion (some do it in short bursts). I was able to cum with some patience and focus. 

 The second time was where it really knocked it out of the park. For the second, I tried the headphones and listened to the moans and wow did that make a difference. Admittedly, the sounds are not groundbreaking, it's a woman's voice on repeat making some dirty talk. What made it work was combining the overall experience of sex with the sounds of someone else, letting me envision other fantasies (of the naked embarrassed female kind). I got so excited it slipped off! I was frustrated in a good way, and when I slipped it back on I had an amazing orgasm and a sense of joy having found the right settings for me. The other nice part is that it's easy to wash, simply pull out the inside and rinse with water, letting it dry before use again.

I have not tried the toy using the wall mount but that is something I look forward to trying next time. Overall, I'd give it a 4.5 out of 5 stars (Rounding up on Amazon). I don't see this replacing my preferred way to masturbate, but the price for this is the same as a fleshlight, and considering all of the fun additions that come with it (wall mount, moaning sounds) it is definitely worth checking out for yourself or as a gift for someone else. I also appreciate that the company honors privacy. It arrived in a discrete box without any indication it was a sex toy, just the name of the company.

You still have a few weeks to do the TurnUpTheHeat Challenge. You get to win $240 in sex toys and erotica by simply reading and reviewing erotica!!! Don't hesitate, sign up now and win your chance to buy the Automatic masturbator or some of Sohima's other fun toys!