How Platonic Friendship Evolved into Exposing Ourselves on Film

 

Today marks the day a bonus video, Demon Humiliates a Cum Faerie in her Princess Panties gets released. It features myself as the Demon and my long time, closest friend and play partner, Ly Lyra. I think everyone at one time gives thought to the idea of having sex on camera. It's not something I ever thought would be serious or likely to happen, at least not until I began shooting ENF films. I always thought it might be fun to do, but my real job would make it hard to do so, thus requiring me to wear a mask. I didn't think it would ever happen because I value my professional relationship with the models I work with and do not ask about any sex scene because it would impact the trust we have in our working relationships, it also makes an assumption that they want to which I do not want to make. 

So when Ly asked to do a humiliation scene with me, wanting to be ravished and embarrassed, I knew they post their own pictures on their OF and thought, this could be a special moment to capture an embarrassment scene on film to share with their fans as well as y'all. So what made me change my mind? Ly is someone I felt safe being naked on camera with, even with my own insecurities about my body and sex from my own past traumatic moments. This trust doesn't happen overnight, it is something that developed over time. We've known each other for over a decade, being close friends who also enjoyed casual sexual . Ly is someone who also helped me grow from a social justice perspective, helping me think critically about systems of oppression across capitalism, ableism, misogyny and racism. We also supported each other during our own rough times. Our own paths in grad school had us move away from each other, but we kept in touch. Every time we reunited it was a joyful moment in reconnecting and filling each other's cup with our love and positive energy. 

Ly was one of the first play partners I got to explore kink with. I still think fondly of those moments, it was  a powerful, hot energy where we both enjoyed mixing elements of impact play with sex. I also loved the communication we engaged in throughout, discussing what safe words we wanted to use and aftercare to make sure we were both okay.Years later, when they visited the states again, they were the first person I got to tie after I began my rope practice. Again, this was a groundbreaking moment in kink for me because I got to see the power and magic of tying someone up, both of us conjuring an intimate closeness while creating visually stunning art. 

 

With each kinky scene we created together, we would check about what we liked about the scene, what we found fulfilling about it and more importantly, how every scene strengthened our connection. I felt safe with Ly, expressing my dominant, sometimes bully-ish mean side, and also showing my naked body to. I also felt safe with Ly as a play partner because I know they would be honest in discussing what they are and not okay with. Because we felt safe with each other, we both agreed with filming our play scene together, which is what led to the video we shot. this would still come with a lot of anxiety and intimidation with shooting a sex scene and it was also exciting.

 A point of connection for embarrassment play with Ly was panty play, which as you all know is my favorite. This may have started last year when in about to play with Ly, they realized the underwear they had on was something they legitimately felt embarrassed being seen in. The natural feeling of embarrassment while we played was something they found exciting as much as it was embarrassing for them.

 

 

Posted with permission 

 I had just the cute pair I wanted them to wear for our scene. They wanted to act as a fairy, the idea is having a Demon rip off their wings before ravishing them. That was the concept and with that I added a script with some ENF elements, exposing the faerie in cute, polka dotted, princess panties. In terms of sex acts we negotiated, the idea of cumming on them appealed to me and that's where the term "Cum fearie" came up. With this premise, we had a beginning, middle, and end, stripping, dry humping, and cumming. So what was actually going to happen then for the scene itself?

 This is where one of my biggest challenges was, trusting the creative process and not planning. I'm someone who is used to planning a lot, from ordering costumes a month in advance, to planning out the shots and the script in my head. I was able to do some of that, I know the room I wanted to use, I knew the angle I wanted to use, but i wasn't sure how my own body wold handle being on camera, aware that I was being filmed while I also had to act as a mean Demon who spanks the faerie into submission before doing a sexual act that is very goal focused.Not only that, i had to make sure we were in frame so that we were on camera. Sex is an intimate, special act, that can be impacted when my anxiety brain kicks in. So shooting a sex scene involved a lot of multitasking - making sure the camera s were running, staying present to enjoy the moment, also listening to Ly to make sure they were okay, making sure I could hear their safe words if they said them. Adding to this was the mask I wore which blocked some of my vision. This definitely impacted how I tie rope because I was less able to check the length of my tails. I knew shooting porn wasn't as easy as it looked, but it was an interesting and fun experience. As with many kink scenes, this scene will stand out for me for years to come, because even though I was keeping track of the cameras, Ly''s reactions, and making sure I was staying in character, I was present the entire time. I was doing the thing I love most - Topping kinky humiliation with spanking, rope, and verbal humiliation, and we got to capture it on film for everyone to see. Ly and I didn't have a beat-by-beat setup of what we were going to do, we listened to each other's energy, I loved how I used a simple tie, using it to pull Ly close when I needed or to push them down, alternating between groping them, spanking them, or gagging them with my fingers. 

 We both are very proud of this video. What I like most about it is it captures things in kink that I find hot - stripping, embarrassing panties, spanking, rope, and I got to share it with someone I love. It's special to me because I think it's a good reflection of me and my relation to kink. I know sex and raunchier forms of it are not everyone's preference with embarrassment and exposure. I do like it from time to time, and in my view, I saw this as making an ENF video but a more personal touch as I"m exposing to you all parts of my I otherwise would keep private - my body, and my relationship with others. For those who do buy this video, we hope you like it, we are quite proud and very lucky to get to fuck because we find each other hot. I also want to wish Ly a Happy Birthday and many thanks for your friendship, your wisdom, and your kind, radical heart. Without you I don't think I would have had the connection to my sex magic that I am flourishing with now, so I honor and appreciate that you're in my life. If you don't follow Ly, change that now and subscribe to their OF and give them a kind gift as they have blessed me with theirs. 

Turn Up The Heat! and a Sohimi Sex Toy Review

 Oof, talk about embarrassment, I'm feeling that way after over a year hiatus in posting. Much of it was due to managing a work/life balance in my final year of my doctoral program, other aspects were emotionally feeling drained from the ongoing accounts of police brutality and also my own management of emotions processing my own internalized racism as a transracial adoptee. Perhaps that will be a post for another time to give it the proper focus and attention. For now I wanted to post a first time for me: My first sex toy review!

How did this happen? It all started when I submitted Privilege to a reader challenge for the month of May (which also happens to the National Masturbation Month;) called the Turn Up The Heat reader challenge. The goal was to showcase indie erotica authors by having participants read a list of erotica, review it, and post it on their challenge board. The prize was MORE erotica AND free toys from Sohimi the company sponsoring the challenge.

 

As I promoted the challenge, Sohimi reached out and asked me to review one of their products. I've been curious about a fleslight type of toy for years and so this felt like the perfect time to try the The Automatic Male Masturbator Cup .

 

 

 

Wow, for a first toy, this came with a LOT of fun features. This version comes with a set of audio noises of moaning. It also comes with a wall mount to prop up so you can use it hands free. I was taken aback by the size of it (it was the length of a large thermos). The inside is a clear vagina-shaped opening that is soft with several bumps inside. It also comes with headphones, a USB charger, and lube. 

It took a bit of trial-and-error but once I got the hang of it it was definitely something I look forward to trying to again. I underestimated the amount of lube needed to penetrate. What first happened was getting my penis partially through and I found that to be a bit frustrating. But, reading some erotica (always a nice way to get in the mood) and a lot of lube used to coat the inside and on myself was what worked out. 

First, the thrusts are INTENSE! I did not need to do a thing, I just lay on my back and held the toy while the thrusting did the work. It has 5 different thrusting modes and with each mode are 6 different frequencies (3 to lessen and 3 to increase the intensity). It takes a moment to adjust, but the intensity of the thrusting starts to feel good the more you just relax and let your fantasies run wild in your mind. I preferred the mode with a constant thrusting motion (some do it in short bursts). I was able to cum with some patience and focus. 

 The second time was where it really knocked it out of the park. For the second, I tried the headphones and listened to the moans and wow did that make a difference. Admittedly, the sounds are not groundbreaking, it's a woman's voice on repeat making some dirty talk. What made it work was combining the overall experience of sex with the sounds of someone else, letting me envision other fantasies (of the naked embarrassed female kind). I got so excited it slipped off! I was frustrated in a good way, and when I slipped it back on I had an amazing orgasm and a sense of joy having found the right settings for me. The other nice part is that it's easy to wash, simply pull out the inside and rinse with water, letting it dry before use again.

I have not tried the toy using the wall mount but that is something I look forward to trying next time. Overall, I'd give it a 4.5 out of 5 stars (Rounding up on Amazon). I don't see this replacing my preferred way to masturbate, but the price for this is the same as a fleshlight, and considering all of the fun additions that come with it (wall mount, moaning sounds) it is definitely worth checking out for yourself or as a gift for someone else. I also appreciate that the company honors privacy. It arrived in a discrete box without any indication it was a sex toy, just the name of the company.

You still have a few weeks to do the TurnUpTheHeat Challenge. You get to win $240 in sex toys and erotica by simply reading and reviewing erotica!!! Don't hesitate, sign up now and win your chance to buy the Automatic masturbator or some of Sohima's other fun toys!