How Platonic Friendship Evolved into Exposing Ourselves on Film

 

Today marks the day a bonus video, Demon Humiliates a Cum Faerie in her Princess Panties gets released. It features myself as the Demon and my long time, closest friend and play partner, Ly Lyra. I think everyone at one time gives thought to the idea of having sex on camera. It's not something I ever thought would be serious or likely to happen, at least not until I began shooting ENF films. I always thought it might be fun to do, but my real job would make it hard to do so, thus requiring me to wear a mask. I didn't think it would ever happen because I value my professional relationship with the models I work with and do not ask about any sex scene because it would impact the trust we have in our working relationships, it also makes an assumption that they want to which I do not want to make. 

So when Ly asked to do a humiliation scene with me, wanting to be ravished and embarrassed, I knew they post their own pictures on their OF and thought, this could be a special moment to capture an embarrassment scene on film to share with their fans as well as y'all. So what made me change my mind? Ly is someone I felt safe being naked on camera with, even with my own insecurities about my body and sex from my own past traumatic moments. This trust doesn't happen overnight, it is something that developed over time. We've known each other for over a decade, being close friends who also enjoyed casual sexual . Ly is someone who also helped me grow from a social justice perspective, helping me think critically about systems of oppression across capitalism, ableism, misogyny and racism. We also supported each other during our own rough times. Our own paths in grad school had us move away from each other, but we kept in touch. Every time we reunited it was a joyful moment in reconnecting and filling each other's cup with our love and positive energy. 

Ly was one of the first play partners I got to explore kink with. I still think fondly of those moments, it was  a powerful, hot energy where we both enjoyed mixing elements of impact play with sex. I also loved the communication we engaged in throughout, discussing what safe words we wanted to use and aftercare to make sure we were both okay.Years later, when they visited the states again, they were the first person I got to tie after I began my rope practice. Again, this was a groundbreaking moment in kink for me because I got to see the power and magic of tying someone up, both of us conjuring an intimate closeness while creating visually stunning art. 

 

With each kinky scene we created together, we would check about what we liked about the scene, what we found fulfilling about it and more importantly, how every scene strengthened our connection. I felt safe with Ly, expressing my dominant, sometimes bully-ish mean side, and also showing my naked body to. I also felt safe with Ly as a play partner because I know they would be honest in discussing what they are and not okay with. Because we felt safe with each other, we both agreed with filming our play scene together, which is what led to the video we shot. this would still come with a lot of anxiety and intimidation with shooting a sex scene and it was also exciting.

 A point of connection for embarrassment play with Ly was panty play, which as you all know is my favorite. This may have started last year when in about to play with Ly, they realized the underwear they had on was something they legitimately felt embarrassed being seen in. The natural feeling of embarrassment while we played was something they found exciting as much as it was embarrassing for them.

 

 

Posted with permission 

 I had just the cute pair I wanted them to wear for our scene. They wanted to act as a fairy, the idea is having a Demon rip off their wings before ravishing them. That was the concept and with that I added a script with some ENF elements, exposing the faerie in cute, polka dotted, princess panties. In terms of sex acts we negotiated, the idea of cumming on them appealed to me and that's where the term "Cum fearie" came up. With this premise, we had a beginning, middle, and end, stripping, dry humping, and cumming. So what was actually going to happen then for the scene itself?

 This is where one of my biggest challenges was, trusting the creative process and not planning. I'm someone who is used to planning a lot, from ordering costumes a month in advance, to planning out the shots and the script in my head. I was able to do some of that, I know the room I wanted to use, I knew the angle I wanted to use, but i wasn't sure how my own body wold handle being on camera, aware that I was being filmed while I also had to act as a mean Demon who spanks the faerie into submission before doing a sexual act that is very goal focused.Not only that, i had to make sure we were in frame so that we were on camera. Sex is an intimate, special act, that can be impacted when my anxiety brain kicks in. So shooting a sex scene involved a lot of multitasking - making sure the camera s were running, staying present to enjoy the moment, also listening to Ly to make sure they were okay, making sure I could hear their safe words if they said them. Adding to this was the mask I wore which blocked some of my vision. This definitely impacted how I tie rope because I was less able to check the length of my tails. I knew shooting porn wasn't as easy as it looked, but it was an interesting and fun experience. As with many kink scenes, this scene will stand out for me for years to come, because even though I was keeping track of the cameras, Ly''s reactions, and making sure I was staying in character, I was present the entire time. I was doing the thing I love most - Topping kinky humiliation with spanking, rope, and verbal humiliation, and we got to capture it on film for everyone to see. Ly and I didn't have a beat-by-beat setup of what we were going to do, we listened to each other's energy, I loved how I used a simple tie, using it to pull Ly close when I needed or to push them down, alternating between groping them, spanking them, or gagging them with my fingers. 

 We both are very proud of this video. What I like most about it is it captures things in kink that I find hot - stripping, embarrassing panties, spanking, rope, and I got to share it with someone I love. It's special to me because I think it's a good reflection of me and my relation to kink. I know sex and raunchier forms of it are not everyone's preference with embarrassment and exposure. I do like it from time to time, and in my view, I saw this as making an ENF video but a more personal touch as I"m exposing to you all parts of my I otherwise would keep private - my body, and my relationship with others. For those who do buy this video, we hope you like it, we are quite proud and very lucky to get to fuck because we find each other hot. I also want to wish Ly a Happy Birthday and many thanks for your friendship, your wisdom, and your kind, radical heart. Without you I don't think I would have had the connection to my sex magic that I am flourishing with now, so I honor and appreciate that you're in my life. If you don't follow Ly, change that now and subscribe to their OF and give them a kind gift as they have blessed me with theirs. 

Getting blasphemous for the 4th of July

I never celebrated Independence Day and today feels particularly surreal in light of all of the recent Supreme Court rulings that empower cities to imprison the homeless, allow bribery for politicians, and for presidents to rule despite being tried for crimes. I've not been a good mental space this week as a result. But, something that gives me a sense of joy, which is important to manage in times of despair and hopelessness to allow survival to fight. So for Independence Day, we're getting blasphemous as I release my newest ENF/EUF film, The Embarrassed Naked Nun

June ended with me feeling slightly burnt out, much of it stemming from work but also in finding what my mental/emotional limit is in terms of shooting ENF films. The most recent film, The Embarrassed Naked Nun was the third film I shot in this month. It of course was fun and a great learning experience and also a bit more exhausting this time around since we shot it at night. As fun as this has been, it also takes time to recover. I love the editing process and it keeps me from being present and engaging in rest on the weekends, which is the only chance I have to recover. With 3 shoots booked in one month I realize I need to find a more balanced schedule with shooting so that it can still be fun for me and also be sustainable long term. 

Each shoot comes with excitement and also anxiety. The anxiety stems from my own worry about not knowing what to do if a shot doesn't work out or if I'm running behind. So that energy carries in the weeks leading up to the shoot. This gets added when I think of location, getting props, and planning my shots. It would be one thing if this was my sole job, but I also work in healthcare slightly over 40 hours. While it was nice to see I could do multiple shoots in one month, I am glad to have seen that this might be my ceiling for now and why for July I'll take a break from shooting so I can focus on wrapping up the Immodest Collection volume 4.

I am glad I was able to complete Embarrassed Naked Nun before this break. This was one of the first shoots I had on my list of ones to prioritize. I have plans to upload things on Clips4Sale and needed 10 videos. Being brand new to this, I wanted to keep story lines simple in terms of shooting, things that wouldn't require a lot of setup/tricks for the exposure scenes. Officer Undressed was easy because Skunk would simply strip in and out of a room that was off camera, which would make editing easier. Ariel Anderssen would strip in real time as part of her story in Embarrassment is Forever and so it was just a still shot on her for the whole clip. 

Embarrassed Naked Nun was planned to be my third film but was delayed after had the confidence to film Embarrassment Quest and Cat Embarrasses the Cartoonist. The Nun script was simple in that the Nun would get stripped as the possessed Matthew turns the lights off. My friend Violet Vixen is someone I met in the local kink community and have enjoyed doing rope scenes before. When I proposed shooting ENF with her she was totally down. She was also new to ENF so it was fun to introduce a new performer to this kink and see how she approached her character. 

 

It took Violet some time to get the sense of her character, but once we got to the stripping scene, she started to get the contrast between the shy-nice-timid seeming Sister Francesca and the kinky, expletive using, sexually repressed  nun that is slowly exposed over time. Violet helped me realize there are a lot of ways to help a performer with character, I used to just write dialogue and plan to work with them during shooting on getting the performance. She highlighted the other important aspect, which was understanding the character to help with the performance. For example, she learned more about her character as we shot the stripping scene and shot the outdoor scene last. She shared that had we shot that first, she would have had less idea about her character and the context of her conversation with Father Dyart. I appreciated her dedication to acting. Having tied with her before, I felt more comfortable trying the pentagram harness and rope panties, something I was most looking forward to because they were the first ties I taught myself when I got into Shibari.

 

The highlight of this film experience was shooting late, waaaaay past both our bed times (I know, we're truly edgy people). I needed the night effect so that when the lights go out it is completely black and with summer, it isn't getting dark until that time. Weather was also a rival as I wanted to get an outdoor shot of Violet under the lamp post, a slight nod to The Exorcist. We were able to get the shot just as it was about to rain but it didn't quite turn out as I'd hoped, and so I opted for an alternate choice, using the still frame of Violet in black and white and zooming in with the audio laid over. As much as I would've liked the outdoor shot, I do like the eerie vibe of the zoom in to her eyes. 

 

I really wanted to shoot this film because for this embarrassment and exposure story, I wanted to focus on a type of embarrassment of exposing secrets, and the idea of a nun having a very sexual side that she's tried to hide that's represented by the racy lingerie she wears was a hot ENF story. The contrast of Violet in her conservative nun habit to her revealing lingerie and then rope underwear I think makes for a wonderful ENF/EUF film that I hope you all enjoy.