Celebrate National Erotic Humiliation Day by watching porn!

 Although it's been a while since I posted, I have not been idle. Since my last post, I've created several new drawings, wrote a new story for Medium, and wrote two embarrassed naked scripts for Jordana Leigh.

The first clip is The Negotiator in which a psychologist and negotiator both have to talk a criminal out of harming hostages. As you can see, the only thing harmed in this situation is pride. I really liked both actor's approach to the comedy of this clip. The psychologist in particular does some great improv that captures her embarrassment while trying to present herself as professional. Although I am not a comedian anymore, I've always believed that good comedy skills make for great acting skills.

The next clip is Hypocrisy , a story about a woman whose conservative, religious boss shames her when she catches her viewing porn, only to expose her boss when she learns that she too has her own sexual desires. Jordana and Maria Jade have both acted in embarrassed naked clips for years and it shows. Jordana does a good job portraying a stern woman, only to wilt as she slowly becomes exposed. I think Maria has strong comedic chops in addition to the way she can still make a scene erotic with her moans and facial expressions. 

So if you're looking for a way to celebrate National Erotic Humiliation Day, there's no better way than to support content creators and buy their porn and indulge yourself!

Other embarrassed naked creators to buy from are:

Cali Logan

Hannah Perez 

Ludella Hahn

National Erotic Humiliation Day 2019 - FEAR

The following blog was written with Brigit Delaney's #eroticjournalchallenge

https://brigitdelaney.com/2019/09/the-erotic-journal-challenge-october-fears-insecurities/#

FEAR, Insecurity, Anxiety, and Self-Doubt

For some of us, fear holds us back from experiencing life to its limits. For others, fear is a catalyst. Whatever its place in your life, consider how fear, insecurity, anxiety, and self-doubt affect your erotic/sexual existence, either as an individual, a lover, or a writer.

"Has fear been part of your kink?"

Up until this past year, I never thought fear was part of my kink. I always identified embarrassment as it relates to forced stripping my primary kink, assuming embarrassment was a separate emotion from fear. As I have thought more about what emotions my kink taps into, I realize fear has a very potent role in many aspects of my life.

I remember dating someone several years back who would become very anxious to public acts of embarrassment. When I say anxious, even watching someone else do something awkward would make her uncomfortable. She would need to look away or leave the room, just from watching someone else do something embarrassing.  Need an example? She mentioned being very anxious watching this: http://www.cc.com/video-clips/eot1dx/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-tori-amos

Embarrassment is the surface emotion, but what is so bad about embarrassment?

In my own clinical work, judgement is something I have become very attune to identify. Words like "should" "guilt," and "feel bad" are all tied to shame. Embarrassment, is on the lighter side of this spectrum. We become hypervigilent of the threat of embarrassment. So what is the big deal about being embarrassed? My kink, forced stripping, usually isn't a big deal for someone who is comfortable with their body, and for exhibitionists, it's exciting. It's not the exposure, it's not the fear of exposure, it's the shame. shame underlies fear. and with shame comes judgement towards the self. Any threat to our sense of self is scary, because it taps into our thoughts as to who we are. Fear - Embarrassment - Shame. With exposure, it's not being naked that might be embarrassing, it's exposing what we don't want others to see. We may be comfortable naked in the right light or when our bodies look a certain way, but if there's threat of being seen in an unfavorable way, then we run and hide.

I find humiliation and embarrassment sexy because underlying that is a sense of vulnerability. It strips the individual of their armor that they try to present to the world. It scares us to think that we will not be seen as we wish to be seen. I once spoke with a friend who had no shame in walking around naked in public. When I asked them to imagine walking in public with their pants around their ankles, they said they could never do that, because that would be embarrassing. For them, that image was not how the wanted others to see them. In my field of psychology, social justice is another important aspect of my training. We are challenged to confront our own biases over gender, ability, sexuality, and race. Bring up any of these topics at a dinner party and what do you hear?

"No talking about politics"

"Why does everything have to be about race?"

"let's talk about something else."

What do phrases like these do? They avoid. What's the emotion? Discomfort? Annoyance? Fear...fear of what? Fear of saying something wrong? Fear that something will be misunderstood? Fear of being seen as racist? Again, underlying this fear is embarrassment or shame as being seen as such. From my own personal experience, these are things I have thought, done, or said at one point in my life. I was afraid of saying something wrong, because an anti-racist stance was what mattered to me. To say something wrong would invoke embarrassment, shame, and anger towards myself. These are powerful emotions and why I like kink is because it allows us to tap into emotions we otherwise try to avoid. Enter my short story "Privilege"

Privilege was my attempt at exploring how race, accountability, and silence can be used as a form of embarrassment in the context of kink. I initially wanted to resist writing it and when I identified my own resistance, I knew that was a sign that I needed to write it. Having seen silence in many classrooms used to avoid confrontation over the topic of race, I could see how it is used to protect the ego, protect one from being challenged, to protect one's dignity, often times, White people's dignity. I love the word "dignity", because in a forced stripping context, the loss of dignity usually results in someone being naked and exposed. That's why i am delighted when I discover new ways to apply my kink, especially in contexts that might not seem sexy at all. In the case of "Privilege" it is the topic of critical race theory in the classroom.

As I write this blog I still have fear, because i know what type of reaction the topic of race invokes from people on the internet. But as I celebrate Erotic Humiliation Day, I am happy to share with you all a new story that is perhaps the most personal as it mixes my life experience and my professional work with my passion. When I think more about the fear - embarrassment dynamic, I see so many new doors and possibilities and I can't wait to see where this takes me next. 

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07ZCKQHL9

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/987115

Happy Erotic Humiliation Day

Humiliation Day 2018 - Perfection

I've been working on this piece for a few weeks but as I post this,  multiple people have been shot at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh. It has been reported that the shooter shouted violent anti-Semitic comments as he shot people. My thoughts go out to the victims, their families, and anyone who is overwhelmed from being triggered by the trauma of this mass shooting. Gun violence on its own is upsetting, but this trauma is multi-faceted in that it's fueled by white supremacy that has flourished under this administration. Today I am frozen to my computer following the news, paralyzed with anger that policymakers are in a position to protect its marginalized citizens and choose not to. Worst of all, their denial that change needs to happen conveys the message "we will not protect you because we don't believe you." I do, and I'm so sorry for the helplessness and fear that is spreading globally. Humiliation is not necessary to deserve compassion and love, but regardless, I wish both for everyone as we try to cope from another attack fueled by hate. For those of you who still wish to celebrate Humiliation Day, perhaps as a momentary distraction or a passion for this lifestyle, I hope you'll enjoy my thoughts on how Humiliation in kink play can provide a corrective emotional experience.

Perfection. Intellectually, most people know it is impossible to achieve. Yet, we strive to reach perfection in our lives. Knowing the right way to behave, spending time to remove flaws in our appearance, choosing the best answer so that our best selves can be accepted. We work so hard to present our best sense of self, that it is affirming when it is acknowledged, either in a job evaluation, grades, or a compliment. Anything less and we seem to beat ourselves up for daring not to be perfect. 

Perhaps it's not perfection, but the consequences of imperfection that keep us trapped in the rigid standards of perfection. As I write this I am in my third year in my doctoral program in psychology. Every day I step into the classroom as a student, teacher, or clinician, I am under constant evaluation. Have I dressed appropriately? Was I concise and accurate in demonstrating that I understand this week's readings? Do I deserve to be in grad school or am I not cut out? These questions are pervasive for anyone in graduate school and reach a toxic level without compassion and grace from faculty. An incorrect use of terminology, an untucked shirt, showing up five minutes late, can send me down an obsessive, masochistic path of being angry that I didn't "catch" that one mistake. With perfection, there is rarely any grace. 

What I have learned these past three years is that no matter how much academia promotes the idea of self-care and that mistakes are part of learning, the shame we feel from faculty when we make mistakes is almost paralyzing. Perhaps this is why many of my stories of stories of embarrassment and exposure take place in academic settings. The stakes are high in academia, particularly in science. I remember one faculty telling me they debated making an offer to a student because they weren't sure if three earrings on one ear was "too much." With this much scrutiny, imagine then, what might happen if three earrings was instead, a skirt raised high enough to expose a stocking-clad leg? An unzipped pair of khakis? A teacher kneeling down to pick up their pencil, exposing the back of their thong? These moments might be trivial in any other setting, but in academia, they can be scandalous. 

If Academia is about perfection, then embarrassment, humiliation, and even degradation (thank you Princess Kali for describing each) is about challenging perfection, tearing it off the smug body of academia to reveal its flaws, its hypocrisy, its shame. I love writing about professors, people with power and influence over vulnerable students, and how they lose their power via exposure. The embarrassment, shows that they are human. That no matter if you're tenured or not, stripped naked, on your knees, bent over one's lap, tied up, you are human like all of us. You are allowed to be imperfect. Most importantly, you are worthy of love. I once had a therapist who said we rarely give empathy to embarrassment. I know personally for myself that has been the case when I've made social faux pas on dates or at parties. Humiliation in kink challenges the notion that shame means we are unworthy of love. Shame is something we try to keep secret and when we are accepted for what we feel embarrassed by, the corrective emotional experience can be powerful.

So when I sit down and write a story about a newly hired professor who happens to get caught in her spanx by her ex, I can enjoy the humor and sexiness of stripping away perfection and replacing it with compassion.  If you decide celebrate your humiliation today with someone you love, either by giving or receiving, think about where compassion and grace lies in your play and take it with you after some good aftercare.

Happy humiliation day. 

J.C. Parker

Immodest Collection Volume 2 sneak peek

I know it's been a long time since I posted, sadly my second and third year of doctoral school has been busier and more emotionally draining than I had anticipated, I'll discuss that a bit more in my other post. Still, I've been slowly chipping away at three new embarrassment stories for the next Immodest Collection anthology. This is a piece I drew for one of them and I thought I'd share a little sneak peek of what I have in store in celebration of #humiliationday. Also, I'm offering a 50% off coupon for the first volume of the Immodest Collection. Use the code VM77G https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/693640 



Noelle held her hands up, “Robin, chill. The dorms have laundromats, I can try to get the stain out before the awards ceremony.” She reached for the dress, only to pause as Robin grabbed the other end. “What are you doing?”

Robin wanted to pull the dress out of Noelle's hands but feared it might rip. “You swear you’ll bring it back?”

“Yes, why wouldn’t I?”

“Do I need to spell it out?” Robin raised an eyebrow at Noelle. “Because I broke up with you.”

Noelle could not hold back her laughter, “Actually, you slept with the 'med school student' and then broke up with me because that was easier instead of talking about it.”

“See? It's comments like that are why I’m a little hesitant to hand over my dress.”

Noelle exhaled, slow but loud, “Robin, I was hurt about our breakup because I cared about you and I still do. That’s why I’m trying to help. I understand you don’t trust me, but I know how hard you've worked to get this job and how important it is for you to make a good impression. Despite my feelings, I do want to help.”

With her eyes closed, Robin squeezed the dress in her hand, taking a deep breath before finally letting go. “Okay, thank you. But I’m serious Noelle, I need it back by 5:30. I can’t go to the ceremony like this."

Noelle threw the dress over her shoulder and grabbed her cleaning cart. “Now that I’d like to see.” She winked and stuck her tongue out. She put her headphones back in and rolled her janitor cart out of Robin’s office. “By the way, you might want to close your blinds.” She shouted before closing the door

Robin turned her head and squealed once she saw the outdoor court from her window. The stony paths were flooded with students leaving class. Robin sprung from her seat and kept an arm over her bra as she brought the drapes down. She groaned as she slumped back into her office chair. She caught a glimpse of the clock on her wall, 3:46. She kept her arms crossed over her chest, wondering if Noelle's comment was meant to be cheeky, or hint that Robin had just gift-wrapped the perfect revenge for her ex-girlfriend.

Happy Humiliation Day!

My body and my panties are my secrets and embarrassment is about them being revealed to others-The Immodest Collection: Stories of Exposure and Shame by J.C. Parker

Our kinks develop over time and for most people there is a sense of alienation we feel when we think it won't be accepted. Early in my developing kinky interests, I had what felt like a unique fetish that was as embarrassing to talk about to partners as the actual kink itself: Embarrassed Nude Females. To be clear, the embarrassment can apply to someone of any gender identity, enf is just my own favorite kink. A more broad term is "forced stripping."

If you're involved in any erotic art, you may have stumbled on the acronym #enf along with a picture of a naked woman posing with a look of shock on her face as she tries to cover herself. She might be wearing underwear at which that is Embarrassed Underwearclad Females. The fetish is a callback to the slapstick era of comedy in which Benny Hill would accidentally strip a woman down to her lingerie, pinup models would blush as their skirts got caught in a doorway, and of course there was Marilyn Monroe in the Seven Year Itch. A vacuum sucks up a dress, a sword slices a belt holding up a pair of trousers, or maybe an unsuspecting person is caught naked taking a shower. The result is the same, a blushing face and an attempt to remain modest when the person is caught in a moment of vulnerability.

So what is it about this fetish that makes it so popular on Deviant Art? How many times can someone be stripped naked before it becomes boring? It depends on the kinkster. For me, my panty fetish always kept the embarrassment kink interesting. I always felt that embarrassing underwear, whether that's heart print panties on a tough biker, a skimpy thong on a conservatively dressed professor, or "granny" panties on a young adult, panty play gives every old embarrassing situation a unique touch. I go deeper into this in my book The Immodest Collection: Stories of Exposure and Shame, but I think what makes it click is that a person's choice of underwear gives us a subconscious look into their personality. They made a choice to wear the garment under their clothes, they just didn't expect to show it off to anyone.

What also makes embarrassment fun, it still plays with power dynamics and can be accessible to anyone. Embarrassment and being stripped is a literal '"loss of power" and any willing partner can have fun becoming submissive as they shed their armor. someone dressed in a police uniform can try to boss you around, but it's a different story once they lose the uniform and suddenly feel self conscious about being exposed. Does this seem corny? It probably is, there is a camp element to this kink that makes it hard for everyone to get into, so make it accessible for you. What embarrasses you? What makes you blush?

I could write about embarrassment all day, but it's a lot harder to do that when collaborating with professional fetish models like my friend Jordana Leigh. Jordana and I met online about a year ago and she was nice enough to let me send a script to her. I was so excited to have her adapt one of my stories, not realizing that shooting enf was a LOT different from writing it. Also new to me was having to write stories within a budget, the comfort levels of the model, and quick shooting schedules (I do not know how Jordana does it, she makes about two videos a week).

Instead of taking a month to write an in depth story, I have maybe two days to write a quick embarrassment concept that is shootable for Jordana and that process has been really fun. The collaboration we did on The Evaporator (with the sexy Karly Salinas and Pisces) started as a simple superhero idea I thought would be fun because it's easy to do quick edits to make it look like her clothes disappear.

This is not at all a new concept, but with the superhero element we have an exciting factor in this embarrassing scenario. Superheroes are often believed to be invincible and the loss of Karly's uniform literally strips her of her powers. As she tries to cover herself from being seen on live television, there is something sexy about seeing what we're not supposed to see. What I also like about embarrassment is that it is softcore fun that any couple can engage in. As mentioned before, embarrassment is about the revealing of secrets so enjoy exploring them between the two of you.

So if this has caught your interest, check out Jordana's Shame Shack and buy her videos. http://theshameshack.com/

You can find my enf book on Amazon and Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/693640

Do research, reflect on what you're willing to reveal, and have fun objectifying (or be objectified) through limitless scenarios! Happy humiliation day!

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