2021 doesn't feel like a new year, it really feels like 2019 and 2020 blended together. I am grieving and angry that omicron has activated the same sense of dread and hopelessness I felt at the start of the first lockdown (note, not the first pandemic, that's what's still happening). All that has changed is where I am in proximity to the pandemic.
In
2020, I was providing telemental health from a distance. I was
isolated, but felt less anxious knowing I could trust I was not at risk
of testing positive for Covid because I hardly went out. Yes I was and still am
touch-starved, but I felt I could approach things with my own level of
control, going out once, testing, waiting for results, and going out
again. In 2021, I work in the hospital now, and the number of floors
turned to Covid units have increased. Staff are burnt out and patients
requiring additional care, whether that be substance use counseling or
inpatient psychiatric care, are forced to wait due to Covid. it's bad,
and what makes me so mad is that it did not have to get to this point. The recommendations have remained the same and were clear to
policymakers early on and yet, here we are, the chance to control and
minimize casualties is long gone.
Throughout
this time, I remained writing, some days taking breaks as i was hit with
hopelessness for the future. For the first time in a while, my sex
drive was lower than usual and I felt less inclined to explore my love
of erotic humiliation. Still, I continued to provide therapy to patients
and my desire to connect my embarrassment fetish to a wider audience
remained. Then, I had a small idea about a therapist helping a college student
understand why she's having naked nightmares. This idea blossomed from what was
going to be a short story broken up in 5 sections into my first novella.
This
was the fastest I have ever written a book. I was grateful to have something singular to
focus on during November and December. What I have always liked about erotic humiliation is that it is an emotion-focused kink. The appeal is not about seeing someone naked, but their embarrassed or horrified expression in reaction to being exposed. It is their emotional response that excites me and that is why I love how kink focuses on those emotions as well. In my novella, I examined
how multiple emotions can come up. One character, Cristina is quite
distressed with the nightmares keeping her up at night and the
protagonist, Dr. Halaweh, must help her understand intrapsychically why
the distressing images are also a source of sexual excitement. I think
what made this book easier to write was that I got to nerd out on the
therapeutic process and the embarrassment kink. I am proud to release
Indecent Exposure Therapy as we welcome 2022. I hope you'll give it a
read and enjoy the psychology of being naughty >:). For a limited time, you can enjoy this small tease as a sample.
